My Birth Story: First Time Mom Having a Natural Water Birth at New Jersey Birth Center

March 2023 | New Jersey

On March 12th, 2023 at 8:34am I was officially initiated into motherhood. I birthed a beautiful and healthy baby boy naturally in water with no complications. I’ve never felt more empowered in my life.

So, I’m officially a MOM, y’all! WOW. This journey has truly been wild and miraculous. At the time of writing this post, I am two weeks postpartum and so far, I’ve been in total bliss, enjoying every passing moment at home with my son and my King. I have a beautiful family now and they make my heart melt. Motherhood is everything that I could have imagined and more. My heart has expanded exponentially. However, the nights and days have become blurred into one and I’m running on hardly any sleep. But even in full zombie-mommy mode, this is truly the sweetest time of my life and I’m so grateful to be here and am fully present to my blessings. Gazing into my son Akuchinyere’s eyes for the first time is easily the best moment of my life thus far. I give thanks to the Most High for being able to have a safe pregnancy for both myself and the baby. I advocated hard for the pregnancy that I desired, especially as a Black mama giving birth to a Black son in America. I’d been educating myself over the past few years around the Black maternal health crisis in the United States. It was super important for me to have an all Black birthing team and I did my due diligence to have as little interference with my body’s natural birthing process as possible. I trusted my body to be able to safely and peacefully deliver my baby. To my delight, I got my birth plan and then some! If you are currently pregnant or interested in what a natural birth can entail, enjoy reading my experience below. As a first time mother, I remember taking in so much content as I approached my due date in order to learn about pregnancy and natural birth. To be honest, nothing really prepares you quite like being in the actual moment when your instincts kick in and you find yourself floating between worlds and dimensions as you bring your baby from the spiritual realm to the physical. Even so, I find it powerful for women to share their birth stories, especially natural and positive birth experiences, because a lot of pregnancy and birth is still taboo for many people. After giving birth to my son, I was told by family members that they had never seen a natural birth before. Everyone was so in awe witnessing my birthing experience. That really blew my mind and is the reason why I share my story — to inspire and to remind another woman out there of her innate power. We were made to create life and our maternal ancestors give us the strength and courage to get back to the traditional ways of birthing and raising these nations. Here is my birth story.

I started feeling early labor signs late Friday night. I remember relaxing with my partner and really being on chill vibes as we anticipated the due date. We really had our fingers and toes crossed that our baby boy would arrive on his due date of March 12th. I was so tired of being pregnant at this time and was eagerly anticipating his arrival. I was 39 weeks and 6 days pregnant so I was so close to being full term 40 weeks. It’s hard to predict when exactly your baby will arrive though, and only about 5% of women give birth on their actual due dates. I could have gone another 2 weeks after the due date before my midwife would induce me. When I started to feel something happening in my lower abdomen, I realized that I just might be getting to meet baby boy on his due date. I was feeling very light cramping on and off, which was not something I’d experienced throughout the pregnancy thus far, so it did feel like a sign from my body letting me know that something is about to go down. The pain felt like being on my regular menstrual cycle; it was definitely manageable and I was able to pretty much continue with my evening as normal. However, because the cramping would come on and off for an extended amount of time, I decided to text my doula Thandiwe and let her know what I was feeling. She let me know that this was a good sign and to begin timing the cramping/contractions so that I could really determine if this was indeed labor and if so what stage. I downloaded the Contraction Timer & Counter app and began paying more attention to the cramping I was having. Little did I know at the time that my labor had begun and I would be giving birth very soon!

I was able to fall asleep that night, and when I woke up around 8am on Saturday morning I realized that I was still experiencing the light cramping on and off. This definitely confirmed for me that I was in early labor so I decided to call the birth center to get some advice and to go over the plan so that I’d be ready when things kicked up. The birthing center team let me know that it’s likely early labor and to not come in until I experience the 5-1-1 contractions. They said just to continue monitoring the cramp feelings throughout the day and see if I lose my mucus plug etc. The 5-1-1 rule is when the contractions come every 5 minutes, lasting 1 minute each, for at least 1 hour. With a natural birth at a birth center, they usually want you to labor at home for as long as possible, that way when you come to the center you’re in active labor and the baby is coming soon. Labor can last days for some women, so this is really important to consider if you’re thinking about doing a natural birth outside of a hospital setting. I believe hospitals will allow you to come into the facility a lot earlier as you go through the stages of your labor. Throughout the day on Saturday I pretty much felt the same as Friday night. I didn’t feel anything excruciating at all, just the on and off light cramping feeling. But the night…the night was a whole different story. Around 6pm I checked in with Thandiwe again and she gave me a lot of comforting advice to help me settle my nerves because at this point the anticipation was really getting to me! She reminded me to stay calm and to stay in flow. My partner and I went around the corner to get some food and then my plan was to take a bath and relax as much as possible for the night. I Facetimed my best friend Ciara who was trying to figure out if she should come to Jersey that night or in the morning. We ended the call with plans for her to come out to Jersey in the morning in anticipation for baby boy’s arrival. By 8pm though…my contractions had went from mild to very intense. This increase in intensity let me know that the labor was progressing. My app gave me a notification that at this point with my timing, I should get ready to head to a hospital. My doula agreed with that message so her, my best friend and my mom all headed to my place. I called the birth center again and they let me know that all sounds good but again, I needed to wait until I’m at the 5-1-1 mark. At this point, I began doing some pain relieving exercises that Thandiwe and I practiced before in order to get through the increasing intensity. I spent a lot of time leaning forward onto the birthing ball she’d given me. By the time Thandiwe and Ciara got to my place, I was definitely feeling a lot of pain and was going between the bath tub and my bedroom floor to labor and was timing each contraction accordingly.

Laboring at home was incredibly challenging. As the pain intensified, I really had to focus on my breathwork to get through each contraction that would arise. I breathed deeply as I felt my cervix opening and softening up. I remembered an exercise that Thandiwe had me practice in preparation where I was sitting in the middle of a river unbothered and totally zen’d out. This was where I would go mentally to stay grounded throughout the painful moments. I remember one contraction being so bad that I just broke down in tears crying and shaking. I couldn’t believe that this was what giving birth felt like! Whew! But with my loved one’s embraces and encouragement I was able to get back to my place of relative peace. By 3am, although I wasn’t at the 5-1-1 mark, I just felt like I couldn’t take the pain anymore and I wanted everyone to take me to the birth center expeditiously, so they did. When we got there, it was locked because nobody was on site yet as I wasn’t marked as ready to be checked in. Our midwife luckily still came to check my dilation. I was so grateful because I needed some insight into how far I had progressed in the labor. To my dismay, she told me that I was only 3cm dilated and would need to go home to continue laboring. At this point, I really felt like I couldn’t go on anymore. I told my partner and birthing team that I wanted to go to the hospital, that I was done. I felt like I couldn’t take anymore pain, so if I still needed to wait then I probably needed medical support to alleviate the pain so that I could carry on. Thankfully, my partner reminded me of my power and encouraged me to stick to the plan. I am so grateful that he remained strong for me in that moment. He is the reason why I kept going when I felt my weakest. He reminded me that I could do it and that when I did I would be so proud that I got the birth that I dreamed of. We all went home and I continued to go through the labor. My doula, best friend, mom and aunt who had joined us had all fallen asleep as it was around 4am at this point. My partner was up with me the entire time. He and I went for a walk and we labored together in our bedroom and in the bathroom. Eventually, I saw my mucus plug release and my water broke. The water breaking was not dramatic at all; it was more of a slow drip rather than an intense gush. Finally, after 4 more hours…we called the midwife and she told us to head into the birth center. I was feeling a bit delirious at this point and was just ready to get to the center. When I got there, my midwife checked me again and let me know that I was now 8cm dilated…WOW! For context, that is a pretty fast labor — to go from 3cm to 8cm in 4 hours. Sometimes it can take a day or two! I honestly don’t know how I’d be able to go another day or two laboring at home if that would’ve been my situation, but you really never know what your body is capable of until you’re really in that moment and get through to the other side!

When I finally entered the birthing room, I was pacing a lot back and forth because the intensity of the contractions were so excruciating that it was difficult for me to stay still and I definitely couldn’t lay down. I was starting to overheat so I hydrated and got in the shower while the birthing tub filled with warm water. In the shower, my partner was comforting me a lot because I felt like it was taking forever for the birthing tub to fill up and I desperately wanted to submerge myself in some water to help alleviate some of the pain. Entering the birthing tank was so soothing for me. Water is such a natural healing element. Although I still felt the contractions intensely, moving my body in a synchronous rhythm alongside the contractions made them feel a lot more bearable. I was really doing my own body’s birthing dance in the water, swaying from side to side like a mermaid goddess. I would switch positions to continuously keep my body in flow. I cannot stress how important this was for me and is the main reason I would advocate for a natural birth a million times over. Being able to be in motion during your contractions really allows you to find whatever comfort measures work for you in that moment. I know that if I had to be strapped to a hospital bed on my back with my legs up, I wouldn’t have felt nearly as comfortable. My midwife told me I was 9.5 cm dilated when I got into the water which meant that after getting my IV, I would be ready to push my baby out into this realm. I wasn’t sure at first when exactly to start pushing, but my midwife told me to just trust my body. There were two pushes that I did that were not in sync with my body’s natural flow. It felt like I was straining too hard and that is because I wasn’t pushing WITH my contractions. This is also why I feel like it’s a good thing to actually be able to feel your contractions so you know when your body is ready for you to push baby out. I’m pretty sure I got my second degree tear during one of those two pushes (I didn’t actually feel any tear). I started to realize when to push as my contractions would gear up. Pushing was way more intense than just the laboring I’d done previously, but by that point I was really floating between realms. I was so into it that I was out of it if that makes sense. Pushing baby out is when I actually made loud grunting noises as I got closer and closer to that big relief. I primarily was laying on my side for the pushing which was the most comfortable position for me, but my last pushes were on all fours. My midwife had me push for 10 seconds each push, but she let me choose whatever position worked for me. She asked if I wanted to feel the baby’s head which I denied for some reason. I kept going with my pushes and eventually felt the ring of fire, which there truly is no other way to describe that feeling when the baby’s head goes through the vaginal opening. It feels like an intense burning/stinging sensation. With another push or so, my baby popped out into the water and the midwife grabbed him to bring him up for his first breath of air. Right after, he was placed onto my chest and we had our baby boy. I pushed for about 30 minutes which is amazing, but to me it felt like hours. All in all, it was so worth it. Afterwards we went to the bed so that I could birth the placenta which was not challenging at all. Once that was done I got to lay peacefully with my baby and family. My natural water birth was truly the most beautiful experience.

I will never forget that moment at 8:34am when Akuchinyere was being handed to me and I looked directly into his beautiful eyes. I remember him being so alert while getting placed onto my chest. It’s true that when you hold your baby for the first time, you do not feel any more pain. You are relieved and the only feeling that I felt in that moment was utter bliss. I got to have delayed umbilical cord clamping which has many health benefits for the baby. I also got to keep the placenta which I will encapsulate and take throughout my 4th trimester postpartum period. The beautiful thing about the birthing center that I chose, Birth Center of New Jersey, is that you can have as many people attend your birth as you’d like. Everyone had to have a negative COVID-19 test to enter the facility, but that is the only requirement. The team at the birth center was so attentive to me and really supported me as I got my baby to latch for breastfeeding within the first hour. They made sure that he and I had plenty of skin to skin and they gave me so much information regarding the first few weeks of his life as well as my recovery period. They helped me to use the bathroom for the first time after giving birth and made sure that overall I was 100% comfortable. I ate some food that my family brought and after about 4 hours we were cleared to go home. We didn’t have to stay a long period of time like at the hospital; we were safe and good to go as soon as we all looked healthy and felt comfortable. It was really special that we could enjoy our blessing so soon after receiving him. If you are in the New Jersey area and considering a natural water birth, I highly recommend using the Birth Center of New Jersey. The experience was incredible and everything that I could have imagined for my first born. I was able to be covered for a vaginal delivery here through my insurance, so definitely check out those options. Another important aspect of my birth plan was having a Black doula and a Black midwife. I knew that I really wanted Thandiwe who is absolutely phenomenal. If you’re looking for a doula, definitely reach out to her! She is based between the DMV and NYC area, and can travel for clients. It was really difficult to find a Black midwife unfortunately. I had searched and searched and couldn’t find anyone. I have to thank God, my ancestors and my spirit guides for my midwife Chidera. Chidera is incredible and is actually a family friend of ours who we didn’t even know was a midwife when I was searching. I had chosen the Birth Center of New Jersey as my birthing center because it is black owned. But I wasn’t sure if my actual midwife who’d be on call when I delivered would be Black. On one of my routine check ups, Chidera came in as one of the midwifes scheduled to examine me. She had just attended my baby shower a few weeks prior and my partner and I had no idea that she was a midwife, let alone working at the birth center that I’d planned to use. She promised that she’d be the midwife for the delivery of our baby. I give thanks that things aligned in this way. This birth was truly a blessing and my beautiful son only deserved the very best experience as he entered this world. I can’t wait to watch him grow and to see all that he will become. He is my greatest gift in this life; he is wealth sent from God. Ase.

Thank you for reading!

With love,

Chante

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Chante Dyson is an artist, writer and content creator living in New Jersey. She is the founder of The Godyssey, a lifestyle blog where she encourages women to step into their goddess power. On her blog, you’ll find lifestyle content touching on motherhood, creativity, entrepreneurship and wellness. She hopes that her content helps women honor and express their divine feminine energy.

Read more here.