Reflecting On My First Pregnancy Through the 3 Trimesters
March 2023 | New Jersey
My first pregnancy was a 10-month long rollercoaster ride. Now that I’m on the other side of it, it’s time to reflect on the highs and lows. Here are my biggest takeaways on how to feel empowered throughout the pregnancy journey.
Writer: Chante Dyson | Photos by Siu’s View
First Trimester
The first trimester of a pregnancy consists of the time period from conception to 12 weeks. This is the time when one likely misses their period and takes a pregnancy test to confirm that yes, they are indeed with child. The first trimester of my pregnancy was by far the most difficult time in the journey for me. I’m normally a very adaptable person and embrace change with wide-open arms, but I was not prepared at the time for the amount of physical, emotional and lifestyle changes that would occur after finding out that I was pregnant. On a physical level, your body is going through a huge shift as the embryo and fetus begin to form from within. Common symptoms during the first trimester include nausea, food aversions, fatigue etc. I remember feeling very fatigued during this time. I was sleeping sometimes 14-16 hours a day and waking up still tired. I did experience some nausea, but luckily very little to no vomiting. As far as food aversions, I couldn’t stand the smell of JUST Egg — The plant-based vegan egg substitute. Later on, I began craving healthy snacks like grapes and carrots with hummus. Luckily, I maintained my general healthy eating regimen throughout the pregnancy. Emotionally, I definitely experienced significant changes in the first trimester. The levels of estrogen in a woman’s body rise fast in the first trimester in order to create the placenta — the organ created during pregnancy that provides oxygen and nutrients from mother to baby. Throughout her pregnancy, a woman’s body quite literally produces more estrogen than she will produce in her entire lifetime. That’s a whole lot of estrogen and that’s why women experience the feeling of “morning sickness” which can actually occur anytime of the day. This rapid increase of hormones in my body had me feeling very unbalanced a lot of the time. I definitely had some mood swings and feelings of overwhelm/anxiety as I was adjusting to the life-changing news.
What had me feel the most empowered during this time, however, was the presence and support of my partner who practiced so much patience with me. You really find out so much about your partner in how they show up for you during and after the pregnancy journey. We’re both first time parents and in a relatively new relationship so there was a lot of leaning on and learning from one another. I’m so proud that we got through this more challenging time in the journey. My biggest takeaway for the first trimester is that it’s so important to have a solid support system in place. I believe that it’s helpful for partners to get on the same page about the realities of a typical pregnancy and what to expect. Pregnancy is absolutely sacred and beautiful, but it’s not always the case that the mother feels overwhelming happiness all of the time. She might be grateful to be growing life in her body, but that doesn’t mean she won’t experience any struggles or challenges. We must hold space for the wide range of emotions experienced in both parents. A lot of us go into it unprepared and are shocked by some of the experiences we are having or witnessing in our pregnant loved one or partner. The more we educate both men and women about the realities of pregnancy, the more grace and compassion we can offer pregnant women and their partners to get through periods of such huge transition. I remember feeling so unlike myself emotionally during this time and very disconnected from my purpose. This was definitely alarming considering the fact that I’d always been the type of person who could verbally express her purpose and passion at the drop of a dime. I’m grateful for my partner who made me remember the parts of myself that I felt like I had lost or was losing. I realized that I needed more emotional support at this time to truly feel empowered, so I committed to going to therapy at the end of my first trimester so that I could move through the rest of my pregnancy fully tapped into my goddess power. This is my number one piece of advice I would give all pregnant women to best navigate the journey once finding out about a pregnancy — girl, talk to a therapist! Make sure that you have as much emotional support as possible to navigate an intense hormonal landscape. Talking to my black woman therapist really helped me move throughout the rest of my pregnancy in an empowered state. I felt clear and connected to my purpose, goals and desires again. I started to move intentionally throughout my journey which helped me to enjoy everything a lot more. Check out this directory if you are a Black woman looking for a Black woman therapist during pregnancy.
Second Trimester
Entering the second trimester in that empowered state, I felt really strong again and physically had more energy to get clear on my birth plan and how I wanted my life to be after giving birth. The second trimester consists of the time between week 13 and week 26 of pregnancy. This is the time where women typically begin to feel a lot better physically, alleviated from many of the first trimester symptoms. This is also when you start to look pregnant and eventually show a baby bump. You start to eventually feel your baby’s first kicks and can find out the gender if you so choose. The baby grows a lot during this time as the fetus develops into human form. I’ve known for years now that I wanted to have a natural water birth with a midwife and doula present. As I grew more and more aware of the issues within our society’s medical system, I became very reluctant to the idea of giving birth in a hospital setting. In general with my health and wellness, I typically always advocate for being empowered by focusing on preventative care throughout my daily choices in order to stay optimal. I would read all of those articles and posts about how pregnant Black women are treated in the hospital setting during their pregnancies and while actually giving birth.
There is a Black maternal health crisis in the United States that stems from systemic racism and white supremacy. Unfortunately, this country has no universal health coverage or progressive maternity policies for women giving birth in comparison to other developed countries. The medical system makes pregnancy a lot more complicated than it needs to be, so I was determined even before finding out about my pregnancy to have as little medical inteference as possible in bringing my baby Earthside. I remember being at college at Rutgers University and speaking at the Douglass Global Summit Contest on Sustainable Solutions: Racing Towards Equality. My presentation was called Work & Motherhood: Looking Into the Future and it was all about the US Childcare system. I was advocating for better childcare and maternity/paternity policies in this country back in 2016. This was way before I was thinking about actually becoming a mother; I was thinking about my future though and what I really wanted for myself as I grow in womanhood. I mention that because these topics have always been so important to me and I have a true passion for women’s reproductive health and rights.
I was scrolling on Instagram one day, when I saw Thandiwe, my doula, make a post about her services around the time when I was beginning to look for myself. I applied for her services through her website and soon after in the second trimester, we began having virtual meetings to check in on everything. Thandiwe offered a lot of emotional support for me to best navigate each change in the pregnancy. She also taught me a lot about pregnancy overall and what to expect at birth, which so much I had not known prior to our meetings. It really does empower you when you know what is going on in your body and why. Like they always say, knowledge is power. One thing that Thandiwe and I both struggled with though, was finding a Black midwife to support the birth that I wanted. I was searching and searching because I was so determined to have an all Black birthing team for my baby. I eventually decided that my plan was to give birth at the Birth Center of New Jersey in Union. This space is Black-owned and they do have a couple of Black midwives, however, they rotate you with different midwifes throughout your prenatal appointments and whoever happens to be on call when you go into labor is the midwife that will be there for the birth.
This felt like settling on my desires though, because I wanted to make sure that I was having a Black midwife. I remember tapping into the Mama Glow community, which if you aren’t familiar is an organization that offers incredible global maternity education. One of my favorite dancers and womb healers, Maya Louisa, was a panelist on a virtual webinar called Reclaiming Our Birthing Traditions. A fun fact about Maya Louisa is that she is a waistbead artist, and when I was thinking about the life I wanted for myself after giving birth, I knew that I wanted to manifest being able to work from home so that I can be around my baby as much as possible as they grow. Maya spoke with me and gave me blessings in her waistbead creation for me — I got the Lulu waist beads which give big Yemoja energy, the goddess of motherhood, family and the home. I got so much information on Mama Glow’s call from Maya and the other panelists, but one of my biggest learnings was around the topic of Black Midwifes in the US. I learned about how in this country, Black midwives historically had been pillars of their communities but never gained the respect or support of the white medical establishment. In its 2020 demographic report, the American Midwifery Certification reported 12,990 midwives in the country. Of these, only 890 were Black. (Huffington Post).
On Mama Glow’s webinar, they discussed the barriers to entry that a lot of Black women face on their journeys toward become certified midwives. I then realized why it was so hard for me to simply Google search: “Black midwife in New Jersey” and find what I was looking for. God, my spirit guides and the ancestors heard my prayers though, because to my delight, my partner and I found out that a close family friend had just started working at the birth center that I planned to use. Chidera, my midwife, walked into one of my prenatal appointments during one of the rotations and we both were so happy and suprised. She had just attended my baby shower a couple weeks prior and she promised that she would be the midwife for my birth. Ase! To really be in your most empowered state in the second trimester, I highly recommend finding a doula and midwife that you trust and that is aligned with your values and your vision for baby’s birth. Utilize the resources and communities that provide information around all things maternity education, especially online. Find your allies and reach out to people that you know can provide the information that you are looking for. You can have the birth you desire, always remember that it just takes planning and a bit of tenacity to make it happen.
Third Trimester
The third trimester consists of the time between the 27th week of pregnancy until your baby is born. This is the time when you get a lot bigger, you might be swollen and you’re really feeling your body preparing for giving birth. I remember moving a lot slower and being very achy overall. I developed carpel tunnel in my right hand which was pretty painful. The soreness I experienced was really in my pelvic area and lower back. I had mild swelling in my feet, but luckily nothing too extreme. During this time, your baby is developed and is growing as they get closer to term. A lot of women begin to feel first trimester symptoms arise again. In my experience, I did start to experience symptoms like fatigue and nausea again, but I still felt significantly better than in my first trimester. I was able to go on maternity leave a month before giving birth during this trimester which was such a huge relief for me. I was really tired commuting into work everyday and working in a high-stress environment, so I am grateful I could take leave early and just have that time to focus on resting and connecting with my unborn baby. I didn’t want any of that stress to even come close to the birth that I planned and prayed for. This is the true definition of protecting your energy and I highly recommend it if you find yourself in a similar scenario. That month prior to giving birth allowed me the time to prepare my home for baby’s arrival and to even connect deeper with my partner as we prepared to be new parents. I couldn’t believe that the 9-10 months had flown by so quickly! It’s like I blinked my eyes and we were only weeks away from giving birth. I was really growing in confidence at this point in the pregnancy journey and feeling more tapped into my goddess power. I had finally shared the news publicly and was back on my content creation game since I had been on hiatus for most of the pregnancy. I was going out with my belly on full display and just feeling excited that I was blessed to be joining mommyhood. I took beautiful maternity photos to document the time in my life and maximized my wellness so that I felt as healthy as possible when my due date would arrive.
One of the key ways that I felt most empowered in the third trimester was carving out time to just be pregnant and to embrace rest. As someone with fast-paced energy, this wasn’t so easy for me but it’s definitely what my body needed. Self care is crucical throughout pregnancy, but I felt it to be even moreso necessary as I was getting closer to giving birth. I put a lot of my attention into honoring my body. I even tried new wellness practices like hydrotherapy in floation tanks to help train my body to utilze water to alleviate feelings of discomfort (Thank you Thandiwe for that great advice!). I took baths daily, sometimes multiple, when I really needed to feel better physically. I remember swimming at one point during this trimester and feeling so pleased with the exercise because swimming just makes you feel lighter and it works your entire body out. If you are considering a water birth, try to incorporate water into your wellness practice, especially in the third trimester in order to feel your most empowered self. The third trimester really teaches you patience and the beauty of a slower pace. By this time in the journey, you should feel more in sync with your body and able to really communicate with it to know that your body is getting closer and closer to labor, meaning you are closer to meeting your beautiful baby.
Pregnancy and giving birth definitely has been my greatest challenge in life thus far but also my greatest reward and blessing. I would do the pregnancy journey a thousand times over but with these takeaways in mind. Overall, if you are planning to give birth just remember to keep your empowerment at the forefront and don’t be afraid to fight to get to that place in each trimester of the journey. You and your family deserve it, goddess!
Thank you for reading!
With love,
Chante
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Chante Dyson is an artist, writer and content creator living in New Jersey. She is the founder of The Godyssey, a lifestyle blog where she encourages women to step into their goddess power. On her blog, you’ll find lifestyle content touching on motherhood, creativity, entrepreneurship and wellness. She hopes that her content helps women honor and express their divine feminine energy.
Read more here.
